Depths
by Colinsand
Summary: A Short Story set between Season Three and Four. Angel is trapped at the bottom of the ocean and Connor is desperate to keep his secret...


DEPTHS

AUTHORS NOTE: An Older fic of mine I just found on my computer :)

"Never forget that I'm your father, and that I love you." Those were the last words that Angel had said to his son Connor. Just before he and that evil woman had dropped the lid on the box, sealed it, and then pushed Angel off the edge of the boat.

Sealed airtight in the metal box; strapped tightly against the hard and the cold Angel trying to convince himself that this was not happening, that this was just some terrible nightmare. The box hit the water, and it instantly began to sink, within seconds it was consumed by the Pacific Ocean. The boat's engine coughed to stuttering life and rumbled as it propelled the boat away from the scene of this terrible act.

Connor had a smile on his face. Justice had been done. The murder of his true father, Daniel Holtz, had been avenged.

Angel watched through the window as the waterline quickly raced above his head, he could see the ocean's sandy bottom, pulling him down to the depths.

"You don't get to die." Those words. His son's words. "You get to live, forever." The followers of the madman Holtz, they had done this, not Connor. Connor didn't realise what he was doing. He didn't know how much that Justine woman's lies had poisoned him. He didn't know that the truths he knew were deformed from reality.

The box struck the bottom of the ocean with a dull thud, sending up rolling, dusty clouds.

This was real.

This was happening.

Connor had really done this.

Angel had rushed out, ready at last to tell Cordelia how he really felt about her, and then out of the blue, just when he thought everything might turn out alright (for a change): Connor had attacked him. Then he sealed him in the box and dropped him ruthlessly into the Pacific.

Angel couldn't blame Connor. He had spent his childhood in the hell dimension of Quor-toth. He had been raised by Daniel Holtz, a man driven only by his intense hatred of Angelus, the demon who had murdered his family.

No, Connor could be forgiven. If he blamed anyone, Angel blamed himself.

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In the dark blue depths of the ocean time has no meaning. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day was the same. The endless expanse of sand and occasional rock stretched out forever and ever. Sometimes Angel would see a fish, or a school of fish. They were the only sign of life he could see from his eternal prison. He tried hard not to think of the long eternity he had ahead of him. But Angel couldn't help dwelling on the fact that he was going to be here for a very, very long time. Probably as Connor had said: Forever.

It was inconceivable. The same unchanging landscape, for as long as he lived.

The biggest problem that he could foresee for his long dark future was the fact that blood of any kind was completely unavailable. He had tried several times to break away from his bonds, but it was no use, they held tight. Even if he could break free there would still be no way for him to get out of the sealed metal container he was in. He had watched helplessly as Connor and Justine had secured the bolts and welded them in place.

No, escape was not even a remote possibility. He had gone without blood before, but never for any length of time comparable to the time that he would be trapped in the ocean's depths.

It wasn't a problem right now, but in the near future it would certainly make his stay at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean interesting. Excruciatingly painful, but interesting. At least that meant that he wouldn't have to put up with the boredom for too long.

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Connor stood on the beach, the beach where he had taken his revenge on the murderous demon. Armed with a small stun gun he had brought down the beast that killed his father.

It was so perfect.

Angel had thought he would be meeting that girl he cared so much about. But Connor had beaten her to it. And now the beast had to suffer for his sins for all eternity. Imprisoned like the animal he was. Over a week had passed since his glorious revenge had been enacted. Thankfully the soul reader, Lorne, wasn't around anymore. He had gone of to a place called Las Vegas, so there was no hope of him picking up the truth from his hateful aura. Cordelia was gone as well, he wasn't as glad about that.

The other two, the lovebirds, Gunn and Fred didn't suspect him. He was good at playing the helpless son, desperately searching for his lost father. He could play on the emotions he was feeling for his real father, Holtz. With both Angel and Cordelia missing the three of them had to work on two searches. This made it a lot easier for Connor to keep the search well away from where Angel really was.

Vengeance had been served. The demon Angel would rot in his prison. Connor knew that the beast would suffer long after he, a mortal, had died.

There were times that he felt bad about deceiving Gunn and Fred; they were always so nice to him, always trying to help him. But he kept the reason for all this firmly in the front of his mind: Angel had killed his father. He more than deserved the punishment dealt to him.

--------------------------

Angel wondered where Connor was, wondered what he was doing, what he was feeling. Had the deception by Holtz's follower been uncovered? Did he now regret what he had done?

Not only wonderings of Connor's fate came to mind, but he thought about the others at Angel Investigations too. Charles Gunn, the formidable, street wise fighter who had lead a gang of kids against the vampires that terrorised the streets of L.A. Fred the latest addition to the team. He had rescued her from Lorne's world of Pylea. Since then she had proven herself to be an asset to Angel Investigations' fight against he forces of evil.

And of course, he thought about Cordelia. He thought about her the most. He deeply regretted not telling her how he felt about her before all of this had happened. It had just never seemed like the right time. And then Gruu had arrived and Angel had backed off. Then just before he and Cordelia finally got together, this happened. Another unexpected event occurred and put a stop to his hopes of things finally working out.

The Powers That Be had a seriously twisted sense of timing. Surely they knew what had happened. Of course they did, they knew everything. But Angel guessed that as usual they could not interfere. He was here to suffer and the Powers That Be, who had helped him in his quest for atonement by giving Cordelia her visions, were going to let him stay this way. They had given him the chance to make amends for the acts of horror and evil he had committed as Angelus. To make up for his actions before the gypsy curse had returned his soul to as punishment for his deeds.

Now he would never have a chance to make a difference again. He would never be able to fight against the forces of darkness that plotted to cause chaos and destruction to the world. He could only hope that the Powers had found themselves a new champion to take his place.

Angel opened his eyes and looked out the window. Unsurprisingly the view was exactly the same. Sand, rocks and lots and lots and lots of water.

Those same thoughts had been through his head many times so far, and he knew that he would be thinking them again in the near future. His muscles were beginning to ache from lack of use. And he was sure that he was starting to fell the effects of going for so long without any blood.

Angel knew that this was just a hint of what was to come. It wouldn't be long now before he learned the true horror of what Connor had done to him.

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Three vampires. All hungry for blood. None of them had any idea who Connor was.

"I'm giving you one chance to back off." Connor said, knowing full well that they weren't going to take this opportunity to live. They had that same smug superiority that all of these foul creatures seemed to have.

"Yeah right little boy!" The middle one, the leader, exclaimed.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Connor leapt into a forward roll and came up, slamming a wooden stake from Angel's collection into the leader's heart. The leader looked utterly bewildered in the instant before he burst into a cloud of dust. The other two vampires paused before lunging for Connor, angry fire burning in their savage eyes. But Connor wasn't there anymore. He back flipped out of the way and the two demons crashed into each other.

Connor grinned. Without their leader these two obviously had no direction. The two vampires picked themselves up and looked at each other. The one on the left finally nodded and turned to the killer of their leader. He ran at Connor, who deftly side-stepped and spun around to kick the vampire on the back of the head. The vampire fell flat on his face; Connor leapt onto him and plunged the stake into his back, right through to the heart. A brief flash of flame and the vampire crumbled to ash. Connor stood, victorious.

Then he was slammed forward, pain spiking his left temple. The third vampire. The attacking demon kicked the stake away from his hand and proceeded to deliver a powerful kick to his ribs. As the vampire made a third strike Connor rolled to the left, jumped up to his feet, and went into a frantic series of blocks as the vampire moved in on him with a flurry of punches and kicks.

Connor had underestimated this one. He was backing off as he blocked and dodged the vampire's attacks. He was making his way slowly to the stake on the ground. He ducked a right hook and then made a dash for the stake. He wasn't fast enough. The vampire grabbed his left wrist and yanked him hard. Connor was spun round straight into a mighty punch that caught him on the forehead. His neck snapped back, he feared that it would break. Fortunately it didn't and he went down, hard on his back. Connor looked up to the ground above his head. The stake was there, not too far. He blinked and quickly cleared his head, the vampire was moving in for the kill. It was now or never.

Connor moved, lightning quick into a forward roll, barrelling the vampire over his back.

As soon as he was on his feet Connor performed a back flip over the sprawled demon. He landed mere millimetres form the vampire's head. The moment his feet touched the ground he did another back flip as the vampire made a grab for him as the creature was scrambling to get up.

Connor landed perfectly in both feet, the stake exactly as he had intended was at his right foot. The vampire was charging at him.

In one fluid motion Connor tapped the stake with his left foot so that the point was facing the oncoming evil and then kicked it up with his right foot.

The vampire came. Connor's open right palm hit the blunted end if the stake with as much force as he could muster. It pierced through the chest of the vampire, right into the heart. Connor's open hand went into the vampire's chest with a crunch of bone as the demon exploded, showering him with flakes or dark ash.

The stake continued on through the air, ending up a few metres away.

Connor's hand stung from the impact with the blunted end of the wooden weapon. His heart pounded, threatening to burst out from his chest.

There was no question: that had been one of his closest calls yet, including what he had faced in Quor-toth.

But it had been worth it. Another three of the killer's brethren had been destroyed, and he lived to fight another night.

The triumph of this victory and the victory over the demon, Angel, brought a smile to his face.

Connor walked over and picked up the stake. His head was beginning to hurt a lot. His ribs, he could feel were bruised. He looked at his hand and saw the dark circle of a nasty bruise had already formed.

He walked away. Heading back to the hotel where he lived with Gunn and Fred. In his mind he was making up a story about a possible lead he had been following up, hoping that it would help him find his father.

They would believe it.

They would say he shouldn't have gone alone. But they would believe him. After all it was his father that had disappeared.

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The ocean depths were silent. Angel had found this strange. Over the years he had become accustomed to the everyday sounds of the world. People going about their business, be it by horse and cart or jumbo jet. Especially in the recent decades, the world just seemed to get noisier and noisier. The background noise of life, and Angel found that he was missing it terribly.

Angel could feel that all his senses dulling, and his was his hearing that was going first. There was no sound, so why bother listening? No scents, why bother smelling?

Down here everything stayed the same.

At a guess Angel would had said he had been down at the ocean floor for around three weeks. He felt hungry. The desire for blood was beginning to cloud over his thoughts of Cordelia, Connor, Gunn, Fred and the Powers That Be. He found himself thinking of blood, red, rich, flowing blood that would fill him with life and replenish his strength. Angel could almost taste the warm elixir of vampire life gushing from a freshly opened vein and down his throat.

He reopened his eyes. Back to reality. Back to the depths of his watery prison. It was getting harder and harder to focus. Angel looked out to the seabed and picked a rock. He focused his mind on the rock, his anchor to reality, his way of keeping his mind occupied to distract him from his thirst.

But it wasn't really working.

He tried to find something else. But there was nothing special on the ocean floor to hold his attention. Not even the temporary relief of seeing a fish. He closed his eyes, trying to find a thought that would keep his mind away from the blood thirst. Images swarmed in his head.

Buffy. That was complicated. Trying to think that the whole thing through should keep him busy for a very long time.

He could clearly remember her face, it was as if he could reach out and touch her soft flesh. Angel knew how much they had sacrificed so that they could continue the fight that they were destined to face. They had chosen the path of the champion rather than their own happiness. Rather than be together.

She was the Slayer. He was a vampire. It should never have happened, they should have never fallen in love. But they did.

And then there she was. Buffy was standing in front of him.

"Angel. It will be alright. Everything will be fine." She a hand to his cheek. "We can be together now my love."

Angel smiled, his deeply buried feelings for Buffy resurfacing.

"Buffy."

Then suddenly he suddenly felt the pangs of thirst rise to control again. The beast within stirred.

Angel was horrified as he felt his demonic features break free. He could smell the sweet blood flowing through her veins. He needed it, he wanted it. Angel burst free from his bonds and grabbed her, pushing her head back exposing her neck. He sank his fangs deep into her, drinking the incredibly empowering blood of the Slayer. He relished in the feast of such special blood, he could feel it working through his system, more than making up for his recent lack of human blood.

And then he froze. And he stepped back. Buffy, completely lifeless fell to the floor. What had he done? He glanced round at his surroundings: Buffy's house, her living room. No. Angel looked sown at her body, cold eyes, devoid of any hint of life, stared back at him. Trickles of blood began to seep from the two small neck wounds.

"No, Buffy." He crouched and shook her, trying to bring her back. She didn't wake, he knew she wouldn't.

When his eyes snapped open Angel saw the depths of the ocean once more. It had been a dream, but it had seemed so real.

Here, trapped forever without blood, his mind was losing a grip.

In the back of his mind his actions haunted him. Had it somehow happened and then he had been transported magically back down here?

He was sure that he could still faintly taste Buffy's blood in his mouth.

It couldn't have happened, he kept telling himself.

It couldn't

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Connor watched from the rooftops, his rucksack sitting beside him. Gunn and Fred were both trying to track down a Sal'San demon that they hoped would be able to help them find Angel and Cordelia. The demon was rumoured to have the ability to find those who had become lost. He sold his services, helping to find missing persons. They had heard about him from some guy in a demon bar. Now they had a lead on him and Connor had to make sure that he found the Sal'San first. But they were close and he had no idea how he was going to achieve this goal. From the rooftops he was seeking a solution. And then he found one. In an alley running parallel to Gunn and Fred there was a quartet of vampires. Connor grabbed his bag and quickly made his way down. Quietly he crept up of the vampires.

"Hey, there is prey in the next alley." Connor called to them. The vampires spun round in full demon mode and snarled at him.

"Leave me and go get them." Connor pointed in the direction of Gunn and Fred and then pulled out a pair of stakes, one in each hand. "Go, you do not want to mess with me." He flicked the right hand stake and it embedded in the front most vampire's chest, narrowly missing the heart. The vampire pulled the stake out and tossed it to the ground.

"Alright wise guy, but why are you helping us?" One of them asked, their faces reverting to human form.

"Let's just say I'm doing you a favour, my contribution." Then Connor turned and clambered up a fire-escape and onto the roofs again.

The vampires paused, and after a few words and nods they rushed off for the attack.

Connor, satisfied, turned and headed of to find the Sal'San demon. Find it, and if there was a danger to Connor's secret, silence him.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. The man who had taken Connor, had been tricked by a false prophecy into believing that Angel was going to kill his child.

Angel had no desire to forgive him. He had stolen Connor and had let him be taken by Holtz.

"I'm sorry. I was fooled." Wesley said, the sorrow and pain reflected in his eyes.

"What do you want?! Forgiveness? You betrayed me! You stole my son!" Angel yelled at him.

"I don't know." Wesley looked at the floor of his office. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry! Sorry!! You think that you can make this better by saying that you're sorry?" Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing from the traitor.

"They should have done a better job! They should have killed you properly!" Wesley instinctively reached for the still healing neck wound. He looked at Angel. The enraged vampire grabbed a curved and decorated ceremonial dagger. Wesley looked at him in horrific realisation.

"Angel, please. I beg you." Wesley fell to his knees, twin streams of tears flowing down his face. Angel reached and grabbed him by the hair, pulling him to his feet.

"No Wesley. You took my son. Everything is all your fault. You have destroyed everything" Angel slashed the blade across Wesley's wound and reopened it. This time however it went much deeper than Justine's knife. The vicious swing ripped through the throat. Wesley stumbled back, putting his hands to his neck, trying to close up the slit. The blood gushed over his fingers, flowing down his hands and dripping to the floor. He looked at Angel with pure dismay and disbelief at what Angel had just done. Wesley fell against the desk, his gasps for breath completely futile. The fingers if his right hand stretched for a small cross that was on top of a pile of papers. His hand grasped it just before he slid off the desk and slumped to the floor. A red pool, spreading from his torn throat. Angel looked down at his dead former friend. He felt no victory, he felt no remorse. Wesley had received what was coming to him; this was the consequence of his treacherous actions.

Death. He had ruined Connor's life and his life. It was no more than he deserved.

The world swarmed and wavered. He blinked. Returning to the real world. He knew that killing Wesley would not change anything. Connor would still be corrupted by Holtz's insanity. No matter what happened Angel could not change the past. He was down here while the rest of the world moved on. There was nothing he could do.

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Connor was walking through the gloomy corridor of the apartment block where the Sal'San was rumoured to live. The dull worn ceiling and brown papered walls looked as if they hadn't been decorated since the Great Depression.

The entire building was occupied by tenants that were demons or otherwise outside the norm. He reached he door of the apartment he had been told the Sal'San lived in.

Connor rapped his knuckles on the old wooden door. There was the sound of movement inside and then the door opened a crack.

"Who is there?" A deep voice called.

"I am looking for a Sal'San. I need help in searching for a missing person." Connor tried to sound as genuine as he could. After a few seconds the demon murmured and the door opened fully.

The Sal'San was dark blue skinned with heavy wrinkling all over his face and large circular green eyes. He was dressed in long flowing yellow robes.

"Welcome." He said and motioned for Connor to come in. Connor entered the apartment and the demon closed the door.

The apartment was dark, the only illumination being the candles that were scattered around the room. In the middle of the room there was a pair of comfortable looking chairs that were some distance apart and facing each other. Between these chairs was a circle of candles burning eerie copper coloured flames. In the centre of the candle circle was a wooden bowl, of a diameter just over the average human hand span. The bowl was decorated with various demonic symbols that were deeply carved into it.

"Take a seat." Connor went over, slipped off his bag and sat on one of the chairs. He found that it was indeed as comfortable as it looked.

The Sal'San went over to a desk in the corner and removed a pot of ink, a quill and a piece of parchment. He then sat in the chair across form his visitor. He put the writing equipment just inside the circle.

"What is your name?" The Sal'San asked.

"Connor." He saw no point in lying.

"And the name of the one you seek?"

"Angel." The Sal'San's eyes went wide and he nodded.

"Ah, the vampire with a soul. Interesting. What is your connection to him?"

"He is my father." Connor kept the disgust he felt from surfacing in his voice.

"So you are the impossible by that my Shaman friend told me about. How interesting to meet you. Well since you are a blood relatives…" The Sal'San pulled out a thin nine inch blade with a golden, jewel encrusted handle. He tossed it over to Connor. "If you would, some blood in the bowl." Connor shrugged and stepped into the circle, kneeling beside the bowl. He ran the blade of the knife across his left palm. Then he put the knife down and made a fist, squeezing drops of blood into the bowl.

After a short time the Sal'San raised his hand and said.

"That is enough." Connor stood and then sat back in the seat.

"Do you know where your mother is?"

"She is dead." There was no emotion in his voice.

"Ah well that makes it simpler. Whoever I find will indeed be your father. Usually I can pick up the mother too which can lead to all sorts of confusion" The Sal'San demon stood and then he knelt in front of the bowl. He began to speak in a language Connor had never heard before. After a minute of this the Sal'San put his right palm into the thin layer of Connor's blood that was in the bowl. He continued speaking and then suddenly fell silent, his eyes closed, the lids flickering.

With his left hand the Sal'San reached for the quill and dipped it's point in the ink. He put the quill on the parchment and he began to move it.

"Water. There is water." The Sal'San started to speak again in English. "Water all around him. And metal. A coffin of metal. He is trapped within it. Water. Deep water. He is in the depths of an ocean. There is pain. Physical. And mental. Betrayal." As the demon spoke numbers were being written on the parchment by his left hand. "The numbers are the coordinates of where he is based on the longitude and latitude system." The Sal'San suddenly opened his eyes. He looked at Connor in realisation.

"You! You out him where he is! You!" The Sal'San stood. "Why did you come to me? Why did you ask what you already knew?" Connor moved with incredible swiftness, scooping up the knife and plunging it into the chest of the Sal'San demon. The demon fell to the floor, scattering the candles behind him and knocking over the chair.

"I had to find out if you could really do it. And I have to make sure that you never tell anyone." Conner pulled out the knife and stabbed a second hole into the demon's chest. The blue blood soaked into the robes.

"Are there any more of your kind in the city?" The Sal'San shook his head.

"No, no, no others on this continent."

"Good. Now I have to make sure that no one else finds out about my little secret."

"I won't tell! I won't tell!" The Sal'San pleaded before Connor kicked him hard in the face, sending him into a state of semi-consciousness.

"I can't take the risk" Connor went back to the chair and opened his bag. From it he pulled out a can of petrol. The Sal'San demon could only be killed by flame, otherwise it's essence would survive and could create another body for itself. After splashing some on the demon Connor proceeded to pour half the remaining petrol around the room, careful to avoid going near the candles. He then went out of eh room, dowsing the door way, and then he spread fuel on the floor and walls of the corridor. There was a little left when he was done so he returned to the apartment. He crouched beside the delirious demon. With one hand he forced the Sal'San's mouth open and with the other he poured in the last of the flammable liquid.

Connor picked up the piece of paper with Angel's coordinates on it and the picked up on of the candles. He left the door open and walked back out into the corridor. He reached the building's stairwell and used the candle to light the parchment. He allowed himself the slightest of smiles as he dropped the burning paper. He turned away and started down the stairs.

The paper landed in the wet fuel and ignited it. The flames danced through the corridor, the doorways filling with fire. The burning followed the liquid trail into the Sal'San's apartment. The fire engulfed the room in seconds. The flames consumed the Sal'San demon, racing inside, fuelled by the propellant Connor had poured down his throat. For five seconds the demon screamed in agony as he was torched both inside and out. Then he was silent, the flames roaring all around him.

Connor quickly made his way out onto the street and ran off into the night.

Fred and Gunn, fatigued from their battle with the quartet of vampires that had suddenly attacked them, arrived at the building where the Sal'San was supposed to live in, only to find that two floors were ablaze. Looking up at the flames that reached for the heavens they knew that the Sal'San demon they were searching for was dead.

"I can't believe our luck! The building the guy is living in bursts into flames on the day we are looking for him!" Gunn exclaimed.

"Yeah and fire is the only way to completely kill a Sal'San." Fred was equally frustrated.

"You don't think somebody knew we were lookin' for him and killed him to stop us?"

"I don't see how." Fred shook her head. "It must be a coincidence."

"I guess you're right, but this was one of our best leads so far." Gunn said after a pause. Fred wrapped her arms round him.

"I know. One of these days we'll find them." Gunn smiled and returned her embrace.

"Yeah. One day." He agreed, but somehow he couldn't quiet believe it.

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Connor went back to the beach. Where he had taken down the beast and dealt his vengeance. Looking out to the ocean he hoped that Angel was suffering. He tried to imagine the pain and the hurt that his father would be feeling. And he smiled.

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She was truly beautiful.

Angel watched Cordelia Chase working at the computer, internet research of the latest case for Angel Investigations. This was how he imagined the world should be. In his office Wesley had several layers of open books covering his desk. He was going through them, trying to find references that would help with the case.

Gunn was beside the open weapons cabinet, sharpening a large, vicious looking axe. Fred was dancing a little blue teddy bear around in front of baby Connor's pram.

The world could not get much better. Angel walked over and stood behind Cordelia, putting a hand on her soft shoulder. She put her own hand on top of his and leaned back.

"Angel." She said and turned to look at him lovingly.

"How's the research going?" Angel asked.

"It's not, I haven't found anything to help us." She smiled that smile that always made him feel alive. Angel leaned forward to kiss her when there was a cough from behind him.

"Erm, I don't think we have time for distractions." Wesley said his tone serious, an open book in his hand. "We really do need to get this case solved fast." Angel stood straight and a look of confusion spread over his features.

He couldn't remember anything about the case they were working on. Angel searched his mind, but still had no idea what everyone was busy investigating.

"Wes, I can't remember, what is it we're working on right now." Cordelia and Wesley exchanged looks of concern.

"You can't remember?" Wesley looked amazed. "I hope you are joking!"

"Joking? No I honestly have no idea." Angel looked down at Cordelia, she stared back, as shocked as Wesley.

"Oh come on! I can't believe that something like this would just slip your mind!" Her mood had changed from love to anger in a split second.

What was it? What great fact had escaped his brain? This was frightening. If he was losing his marbles then his great mission to redeem his sins will be seriously jeopardised.

"Guys, I have absolutely no memory of this case." Wesley bowed his head to the floor and shook it in disappointment.

"Oh dear, oh dear. Angel we are trying to figure out why you insist of deluding yourself that any of this is real." Wesley waved his arms round the room. "You honestly believe you can get any of this back?"

"Do you really think there was any hope for us? Even if I could ever feel for you what you feel for me, it would never last. Didn't you learn from what happened with Buffy?" Cordelia's words stung deeply.

"No matter what you do, no matter what you say you are still one of them." Gunn was now approaching them, the freshly sharpened axe held loosely in his right hand. "A vampire, a demon."

"Even I know it." Fred turned away from baby Connor. "I saw what you really are."

"In the end you will always be alone. Before you knew it I would be old and dead." Cordelia was really saying this to him.

"I talk to your enemies behind your back, I don't trust you enough to tell you what I discover. I lied to you. I kidnapped your son. And then delivered him to a man sworn to destroy you." Wesley laughed. "And still this is your ideal world!"

"I am her only to provide you with your visions from the Powers. No matter what spin you put on it that is the truth. This is your mission. Your quest for redemption. What you feel is sympathy for the pain I suffer for you." Angel had no idea what to say to this sudden crash of reality.

"No, you are Cordelia Chase, the person, not just the visions." She wasn't just a simple connection to the Powers That Be, but she was and incredible and strong woman that he truly cared for.

"Don't feel bad Angel, you didn't give her the visions." He couldn't believe his eyes, standing in the hotel's doorway was Doyle. He was dead. He couldn't be alive. Angel had watched him die to save countless innocent lives.

"How? You died." Was all he could say.

"Hey this is your perfect world. I died so you didn't have to. I gave Cordelia the visions. I'm the one to blame for her pain, not you." It felt so good to hear his friendly Irish accented voice again.

Angel sighed.

"You did it because you knew I needed the visions from the Powers. Don't blame yourself for Cordy's pain."

"Yeah" Doyle shrugged, "I guess that's true. I knew in that final moment that the thing you would miss most would be the visions." Angel shook his head.

"No Doyle, you were a good friend. Your visions were just how we happened to meet."

"Right, you were my friend because of the visions. That's what I said." His face contorted, turned dark green and small spikes emerged. "And I'm a demon. Guess we had that in common." Gunn looked at Doyle on anger and rushed over to him. Angel made a move to stop him,

"No! He is a good demon!" Gunn pushed past him and with a single mighty swing he decapitated the half demon in a splatter of blood. The head bounced and came to a rest on the clean lobby floor. The body followed with a dull thud. Angel froze and stared at the once again dead body of his friend. Then he spun round with a seething fury, his eyes yellowed and narrowed, his fangs elongated and brow furrowed.

"You see!" Gunn proclaimed. "This is the true face of Angelus!" Angel stopped and took a step back. His features reverted to his shocked human face.

"You're right." He admitted sombrely.

"Yes. He is right." A new voice. From the direction of the baby's pram. Angel frowned and slowly walked over, the others al watching him intensely. He looked into the pram. Before his eyes the little baby rapidly aged, his growing limbs shattered the pram. The wheels rolled off in different directions. Seconds later Conner the young man stood smiling at him.

"You are a vampire. What sort of father could you possibly be?" Connor demanded.

"One who loves you very much."

"How can I believe that? Holtz told me what you did to him, told me things you did to hundreds of other people. How can a beast that slaughtered countless innocent men, women and children know what love is?" Angel's son lashed out with a vicious backhand across the jaw. "Everyday these people sacrifice their time, their lives, for you." Angel blocked a second blow from his son.

"Hey everybody! I think I solved the case!" Connor grinned and threw up his arms in celebration.

"You have!" Wesley exclaimed, tossing the book he was holding to the floor. "This is something I've got to hear!"

"Go on, tell us, why is Angel so willing to delude himself?" Fred said brightly. Connor smirked and folded his arms in front of his chest with an air of superiority.

"It is because he knows everything we have told him is true! He is afraid! My so called father lives everyday in fear that one day the true beast that he is will one day destroy everything. He knows in his borrowed soul that all those around him will die long before he does, and he knows that their lives will have been wasted helping clear his conscience."

"Yes!" Cordelia leapt up from her chair. "He knows that his friends, everyone he cares about will die, and that he will be left behind."

"The curse of immortality."

"The price of being a demon!" Gunn swung his axe through the air.

"The real curse of his soul." Angel fell to his knees when he saw the source of that last taunt.

Jenny Calendar. A woman he brutally tortured and killed less than five years ago when Angelus had been unleashed on Sunnydale.

"He knows that he is just using all of you to do his work. To help him pay for his evil. He knows that any day one of you could die because of him." Connor began pacing back and forth, back and forth. "And he knows that even if he had and eternity he would never be able to make amends for what he did." Connor snapped his right leg up and smashed his foot against the side of Angel's head. Angel went down, all the fight drained out of him.

Connor knelt beside him.

"But I found a solution didn't I? I found a punishment that would force you to live forever, trapped with your guilt, and the knowledge that they will continue your fight. You are at last truly receiving what you deserve." Connor kicked him again, rolling him onto his back. He pulled out a stake.

"To the death you will never have." The group all chanted. Connor drove the stake into Angel's heart.

The shimmering blue greeted him as his eyes strained open. Free from the world of illusion.

His entire body felt drained of anything resembling energy. His eyes could barely focus on the hazed ocean floor. Dull pain was all he could feel, weak muscles without the strength to move.

Angel struggled to remain conscious, though he began to wonder why he should bother. It might be better if he was unconscious for the duration of his stay in this box. All of his mind becoming a blur. Sounds, tastes, smells, images were beginning to flash at random.

He could barely remember what his last hallucinations. Images. People. Places. Life and death.

And then he faded from the realms of reality again, slipping into his mind, which tried to give him some sort of sense of living.

Building another reality, far away from the truth.

Angel was lost in his dream world.

Lost to the rest of the world.

In the depths of the Pacific Ocean.

NOTE: Reviews are very much welcomed and appriciated.


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